Puppet Master I (1989)

I recently picked up a dvd copy of Puppet Master . It's probably been over ten years since I have last watched any of the films from this series, and I know that after part 3 they took a turn for the worse.

This is obviously one of those "killer doll" movies following the success off of Childs Play(1988). Instead of focusing on just one demonic doll purchased in the dark aisle of Toys R' Us, we have a collection of little macabre puppets who are given life by a man named Toulon who dies in the first scene of the movie which takes place in the 1940s. A long drawn out scene that could have been edited to under 5 minutes.  

The film cuts forward to present day (late 80s) where a group of acquainted psychics are called together to a hotel in Bodega Bay, California, to investigate the suicide of Neil Gallagher, another psychic. In this empty hotel they encounter his laid out corpse, his widow, mysteries, and oh yeah, killer puppets which include a leach spitting hell Barbie, a puppet with a drill on his head, a macho man pin head, and my favorite, blade...a trench coat wearing skeleton with a hook and knife for hands. 

The story is a little confusing and ridiculous at times. It's not well explained how the psychics know one another, or their direct ties to our deceased and clearly disliked Neil Gallagher. A good half hour is dedicated to identifying each of their psychic traits...none really directed to the puppets. The truth of the matter is that the killer puppets seem to be an addition to the plot, like an accessory to the film, but not the main premise. I'm sure that they wanted to make a film that was more sophisticated than just a "killer doll" movie...but I don't think it helped with this one. Instead of creating a plot, we are left with scenes that drag and leave us confused. 

The execution of the film was mediocre. The vibe I got was that it was a cheaper low budget foreign film trying to look like a high budget American horror flick. The acting was pretty terrible. None of the characters were really memorable, except the one psychic brings her taxidermy dog everywhere she goes. 

Our puppet scenes were more memorable than the characters. The most cringe worthy was leech woman vomiting leaches all over one of her victims. It literally looked like she was taking a dump out of her mouth...with gargling moaning sound affects. And our tunneler head driller ramming into one of the psychics (guess she couldn't see that coming). 

Some of the puppet scenes were done with stop action and green screen, making it look really choppy and unrealistic. It gave it more of an animated feel which I don't know if it enhanced or detracted from the film. I always find something off putting about stop action and choppy edits. 

Puppet Master is a series that gets better in the sequel. The story was as choppy as the effects, and the characters and vibe of the film were pretty dull. This is one of the films that you watch when you are in the mood for a killer puppet feature and nothing more. The puppet concepts are the only saving grace in my opinion. They are all unique and fun to watch for they have distinctive looks and methods of killings. Throughout the series we are introduced to new puppets that become part of the Puppet Master family.   

Strangeland (1998)

I remember when this movie was released to theaters in the late 90s. This was something I had wanted to see but unfortunately none of the movie theaters my parents (Yes, I was a kid and needed rides) would take me to were showing it. I have come to learn that this film only lasted a few weeks in the theaters and tanked. As decent of a film it is, I can understand why it didn't have wide reception. Not much publicity plus this was a cultish horror film competing with manufactured horrors like I Know What You Did Last Summer, Scream, and Urban Legend, along with an endless assortment of straight to video wannabe flicks that would fill up the shelves at Blockbuster. Not even Robert Englunds name gave this film much box office success. At first glance Strangeland may come off as a little gimmicky considering it's a film both written by and starring Dee Snider from the group Twisted Sister.

The film is about a body modification psycho who uses chatrooms to find victims to rape, torture, and kill. He uses the screen name "Captain Howdy," a wink for any fan of the Exorcist and remembers the Ouiga board talk, who preys mostly on teenagers under the guise that they will be meeting up some young cool guy who is hosting a house party. Once he captures them he uses torture methods similar to his own body mods and ancient techniques. Eventually his cyber spree catches up for he abducts Genevieve, a young teen who's father is a detective. Of course he hops on the case and eventually rescues her and Captain Howdy (Snider) gets put away. Four years after the state lets him out and he is a changed "sane" man. Robert Englund and a bunch of red neck locals get together to restore justice and lynch Captain Howdy. However, they fail, his medication wears off, and he is back to being the tattoo'd face pink haired psycho and comes after the detective and his daughter.

What I love about this movie is how it coheasively covers a large variety of topics in a short time span. This was the height of the internet craze when teens would disguise themselves as being cooler than they really are in chat rooms and meet people online. Strangeland plays up on this cyber trend at it's peak. The problem with this movie is that it wouldn't really work in this day and age unless CaptainHowdy was on Facebook or on dating apps like OkCupid. But then again, thats half the fun with this film...it's a time capsule showcasing what typical teenage life was like in the late 90s. Dee Snider of Twisted Sister also wrote and starred in this, which in my opinion, paved way for other artists to cross the music to screen writing boundaries like Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson.

Another great aspect of Strangeland is that this is probably one of the first movies out there that really revolved around the subculture of body modifications and goth/metal music. We do have films like The Crow , The Hunger, and Return of the Living Dead which reference these sorts of subcultures, but none to go that deeply into it as Strangeland. The idea of having a villain with pink hair, dozens of body piercings, gages, and even have half of his entire body including his face tattoo'd is pretty unique and almost believable. We have all seen those people who take body modification art to the extreme (usually managers at Hottopic), but never have we seen it taken to the level where its mixed with torture. Dee Snider plays the role well as a cocky arrogant prick with zero fucks given. This guy is pretty bad ass and awesome looking...totally would be his friend.

Some may argue that this movie needed more of a backstory about Captain Howdy...like why is he crazy, whats the story behind is body mods, etc. Also, none of the characters were really that special or memorable. Personally, I don't think a back story is relevant at all. This film focuses on the situation at hand and wants the viewer to take home that fear of talking to psycho's on the internet, or even think twice about calling someone who looks different a "freak". I highly recommend this film if you are feeling 90s nostalgia and love all things metal.

The Prowler (1981)

I just recently watched The Prowler for the first time. Oddly enough I have managed to overlook this gem which is a mystery because it features the early work of legendary make up artist Tom Savini who has done work in some of the Friday the 13th films,  George Romero's Dawn of the Dead, and many other iconic horrors. This film is also directed by Joseph Zito who ends up working with Savini again in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter in 1984.

So already this film has the ingredients for a successful slasher, not to mention some pretty sick cover art. You get in this movie what you see on the cover: an awesomely bad ass killer in WWII army gear prowling on the youth. The movie starts off with a handwritten break up letter written to a soldier called to duty. Apparently him being away was too hard for his lady, Rosemary, so she decides to move on and see other people. Shortly after a ship of soldiers coming home back to the states arrive. The year is 1945. Rosemary, now with a new man, is at her college graduation dance. The lovers decide to escape to a romantically lit dock on the water. Our prowler of course appears and kills them both with a pitchfork. Revenge! After the double murder the town decides, NO MORE DANCES! So our heart broken killer hushes down for quite some time. 

We fast forward to 35 years later, 1980, where the town prepares to bring back the graduation dance. This of course stirs up a bit of controversy at the town of Avalon Bay. This takes plan in New Jersey and was filmed in Cape May. I myself am a New Jersey native so already I have a biased opinion and think this is fucking awesome. Our masked killer makes a come back the night of the dance and starts to pick off his victims. Some of these deaths include a pitchfork to the stomach shower scene, a jock stabbed in the head so hard his eyes roll back in shock, a few standard throat slices, and a lot of wandering...and more wandering. Yes, this film starts off on a high note and at about 25 minutes in it starts to slow down, almost to a grinding halt. We have a decent kill count, but they almost become filler. Our last 10 minutes however pick back up with an intense chase scene. We find out who our masked WWII killer is, and it's so incredibly obvious that even Helen Keller could figure it out in the first 15 minutes. The end does have an epic head explosion via gun shot. Tom Savini at his best! 

The vibe of this film is very much like Friday the 13th meets Prom Night. Not the most clever writing, but we have 3 satisfying kills and one really cool looking killer. This is the sort of film that follows the classic rules of the early slashers, so it is definitely a crowd pleaser and worth seeing. Plus who doesn't want to go on a killing spree 35 years after getting your heart broken?

Blood Diner (1987)

There is nothing I love more than obscure 80s horror, especially ones that are "bad" because it probably means that there is a killer soundtrack, weird deaths, funny dialogue, and some really cool post punk outfits. Just recently I decided to give Blood Diner a stab since I have never had the chance to see it. It was just, awful. Believe me...I always love a low budget obscure horror...but this was just...awful. 

Based on the cover I assumed it was going to be about a hole in the wall diner out in the middle of nowhere in which the owners probably killed people in the diner and then served them for a lunch special the next day. They should have called this movie Blood What the Hell am I Watching? There is TOO Much Going on, Is this Movie Over Yet, Is This Even a Horror or a Comedy? Because that is exactly what I thought.

The film starts off with 2 brothers as kids (Mikey and Georgie) left at home by their mother, who literally leaves them alone at the house to go to the grocery store to, and I quote, "get some god damn tampons". Shortly after their crazy Uncle Anwar (who even has a name like "Anwar"?) busts through the door with a meat cleaver and tells the boys who are making pretend food his good byes, for moments after police shoot him dead in front of their house since he had been on a killing spree. We fast forward about 10-20 years in time to the 2 brothers as adults. They are digging up their dead uncle for his brain for they want to resurrect him from the dead. They do so, however, their uncle is nothing more than a talking brain and a set of eyes in a jar. After this resurrection the uncle demands that the brothers find the sleaziest women to kill and take their body parts to restore the life of the hell goddess Sheetar. In between all this they also run a diner that serves healthy food...vegetable dishes with human parts mixed in. Okay, now we can call it "Blood Diner". 

This film is sort of like Maniac meets Frankenhooker meets Street Trash. Slasher flicks usually have some comedy elements in slashers which is what makes them so fun to watch, but normally it was still 80% horror and 20% comedy. (I just pulled these numbers out of my ass, but I'd say it's pretty accurate). Slashers in general leave a lot of room for fantasy and creativity. Blood Diner really didn't have a good story. The movie kept going on, and on. There was no balance. It seems to me like they were throwing everything they could at the viewer for the sake of shock value. To be honest, I didn't care about the story, the characters, or overall style. This is coming from the person who will love a movie that has a shitty plot but an amazing atmosphere. I can't believe I am saying this about an 80's horror, but I really hated it and don't plan on ever seeing it again. Surprisingly enough, a lot of people seem to like this movie! I have read a lot of reviews, and I feel like I am working against the grain on this one. I understand why it has it's cult following, but it just wasn't for me. 

However, I will give credit where credit is due. Some scenes worth calling out are the naked aerobics massacre, the vegetarian trucker throwing up all over the diner, and the end ritual zombie scene at the goth bar blasting some Rammstein esque music. By all means, give this one a shot if you love your VHS era films and splatter punk. 

Silent Night Deadly Night (1984)

One thing I am always a sucker for are Christmas themed horror flicks. It probably stems from my hatred of this Holiday. It seems taboo to say that you hate Christmas, but if you ever worked in retail, you too would feel the same and would love nothing more then to see Santa Clause hack a bunch of people to death.

So in celebration of this Holiday season, I have decided to write about Silent Night, Deadly Night. The film starts off with young Billy and his family driving somewhere in the middle of Utah to visit crazy Grandpa at the mental hospital. When they arrive, Grandpa is sitting in his rocking chair in his usual comatose state. The parents leave little 8 year old Billy alone with him. Moments later Grandpa warns Billy about Santa Clause, and that if he see's Santa, he better run for his life. This immediately panics Billy and his parents come back but of course Grandpa is back to his quiet state. On the car ride back from the Christmas Eve visit they spot a man in a Santa suite broken down on the side of the road. His parents decide to pull over and help Santa. Little do they know that Santa is actually a burglar with a gun. Billy witnesses his parents get murdered and manages to get away.

This film is separated in 3 parts. Young Billy's back story, his time at the orphanage, and him at 18 as our killer Santa. So we move forward to his time at an orphanage under the rule of a strict heartless nun who refuses to acknowledge Billy's psychological damage, but instead she punishes him for any time he has an episode related to his hazy memory. Over time Mother Superior only adds to his trauma, ultimately creating a psycho in the making, brain washing him to think that "punishment is necessary, punishment is good".

So we get to Billy at 18. He grows up to be a soft spoken hunk! The nice nun who has always looked out for Billy, Sister Margaret, sets him up with a job as a stock room worker at a toy store. Of course the Christmas season creeps up on him and he is faced with Christmas decorations, and even having to dress up as Santa for the children. My favorite scene is when he has to have the children sit on his lap making him so uncomfortable and the worse Santa to take your kid to. One young girl was fidgeting all over, being really difficult and Billy Santa Clause looks right at her and says "you're being naughty" to intimidate her to stop. Hilarious. Shortly after the staff at the toy store has their holiday party. Our sweet handsome Billy sees the coworker he is crushing on being raped by a stock room clerk in the back. Anything sexual is a trigger for Billy since he saw his mother being taken advantage of before the Santa Clause thief killed her. He finally snaps and goes on a killing spree in his Santa Clause suit. Some of his killings include a Christmas light strangling and even pushing a teenager through deer antlers mounter on the wall. At the end of the film Billy makes his way back to the orphanage Christmas Morning to finish his rampage and kill Mother Superior. All the children in the orphanage embrace him as he walks in, unaware that he is not the Santa they had in mind. Billy takes his ax and lifts it to kill Mother Superior, but in the nick of time is shot down by a cop and the day is saved. The real tragedy is that he didn't get to kill off Mother Superior since she is the person who inflicted all this mental abuse that created the monster he became. All the children scream and Christmas is ruined. Chances are these children are all going to be a bunch of Billy's in the making and are going to need lots of medication and therapy. At the very end of the film we see a young boy who looks disturbed by all this and already putting people on his "naughty" list. Of course this leaves room open for a sequel.

What I love most about this movie is all the uproar that took place when it was released. A bunch of conservative bible hugging parents protested, as well as Siskel and Ebert who publically called out the director, writer, and producer of the film on their show and stated that this was a film made to ruin Christmas and just wanted to make money off of shock value and blood guts. The film was even pulled from the theaters shortly after it's release. So of course that means that this film is nothing short of awesome, and a must watch for anyone into slashers. Another interesting idea from this movie is that it's not just a "Killer Santa" film. It's a film that allows you to empathize, relate, and even feel bad for the killer. The real monsters of the film were the ones responsible for creating and adding fuel to the fire of Billy's post traumatic shock of seeing a man in a Santa costume murder his parents. This low budget flick does hold some great performances by Lilyan Chauvin who played Mother Superior. Her strictness was up to par with that of Sister Jude from American Horror Story. The fan favorite seems to be the short role of Grandpa played by Will Hare. His Christmas warning sets the tone for the rest of the film and is quite chilling. That scene makes me think, was he having a premonition, did he just want to torment Billy, did he too have a Christmas trauma, did he really have these comatose episodes or was he faking it to spite his family? Regardless, it kick starts this movie early on. Naughty or nice, this film is a must see! It has a great concept, it's fun and slashery, and it celebrates the true meaning of Christmas. It also has a really cool movie poster!

The Elvira Show (The Unaired Pilot)

Just the other day I discovered that one of my horror idols, Elvira, had an unaired TV pilot back in the earlier 90s. So of course I had stop everything I was doing to watch this. It was as if I had found a missing reel from Elivra: Mistress of the Dark which has been a top 10 favorite movie of mine since I was a kiddie. By the time I was in the first grade I practically memorized all of the lines. "I cut you man!" 

Elvira is such a clever franchise and a likable character. Who does' like a B horror movie hostess with campy humor and a little sex appeal? Okay, a lot of sex appeal. It's amazing how far Cassandra Peterson took her character Elvira. She went from local access TV horror hostess, to being syndicated and breaking paving way for being the first TV program to broadcast in 3D and eventually having 2 major motion pictures. Not to mention her Elvira costume is still the number 1 costume bought even today. Her character has appeared on SNL, MTV, and many commercials. There is even an Elvira pinball machine....which I need to own one day. So knowing all this, it only makes sense for her to try to develop her own sitcom series. 

In 1993, Anne Beats, long time writer for SNL, wrote the pilot to air on CBS. The writing was witty and full of double entendres. The premise of the show was that our beloved Elvira had moved to middle America with her Aunt Minerva who is a witch with super powers. Together they have their own business of fortune telling and potion making. Shortly into the pilot Elvira finds out that her niece has come to live with them, and she too is a witch. Together the 3 need to keep their witchy powers a secret with the company of their sassy black cat who talks. The pilot it self is quite hilarious. Elvira and Aunt Minerva have this cohesive chemistry that works for television. In my opinion this show had a good shot at making it one or two seasons and should have been given that chance. The concept of the show leaves so many great opportunities for future episodes. I can see them doing several spells gone bad episodes...Elvira going on dates...interactions with their potion customers and psychic readings. We should have definitely been given at least a full season of this gem. 

But one must ask, why did ABC not air this? We have to remember that this was still a little too edgy for the 90s, and ABC is geared more towards families. So having a sexy woman in revealing clothing casting spells might not have been the right fit for their demographic. Just 3 years later did they replicate this same pilot concept for Sabrina the Teenage Witch (3 witches living together with a talking cat). So maybe The Elvira Show was just too ahead for her time. Maybe Elvira is a character that is stronger and more effective in shorter segments rather then a 30 minute long television program.  Regardless, the pilot is worth checking out for anyone who appreciates Elvira and campy humor. So in the words of our favorite mistress of the dark, I will wrap this post up by saying, "unpleasant dreams". 

Candyman (1992)

Being raised on horror movies since I was literally a baby...I was never really bothered by monsters or psycho killers. At the age of 6 my parents would buy me issues of Fangoria magazines and let me pick out a VHS horror film if I had good report cards. Horror was always just fantasy and fun. Of course some films would creep me out, but not enough to the point where I had to stop watching. But there is one movie that til this day I struggle watching and that one is Candyman. The first time I saw this movie I was probably 7. After seeing it, I was always a little creeped out looking at bathroom mirrors, thinking that our hooked hand killer was staring at me from the other side ready to rip me in two. I even had nightmares sometimes about being lost in the projects with walls covered with Candyman graffiti. So what is it about this movie that has had this lasting effect on me? Tony Todd is creepy as hell, but I know it's not him that creeps me out.

I grew up in a city called Irvington which happens to be one of the most dangerous cities in NJ, to put it frankly a good portion of this town is ghetto as hell. The film Candyman takes place in the bad parts of Chicago, where there are high crime rates, gangs, and so forth. Needless to say, it looked just like the area of town only blocks away from me. It made it feel real. There was even this high rise building that was part of the projects that had broken windows, trash all over, curtains hanging out the windows, it looked almost identical to where Candyman did his killings.

The film is about a young more privileged white woman who is doing a study on the urban legend of Candyman. The myth: say his name a few times in the mirror and he comes out with a hook for a hand and kills you. In her research she realizes this series of projects (low income housing) is terrorized by this legend to the point where there is a gang that uses this legend as their identity and terrorize. Our leading lady, Helen Lyle, decides to summon Candyman as part of her research. Throughout the film she is haunted by him as he begins to kill the people around her. He is a tall menacing black man with an oversized bloody hook for a hand. His body is covered in chewed up flesh and hoards of bees. What we realize is that this isn't just a slasher flick, but it's also a story about race and sociology. Exactly where these cursed projects sit is where Candyman him self was murdered by racist white men for sleeping with a white woman in the 1800s. The legend of Candyman isn't just a ghost story, but shows the evils that can stem from other evils.

Candyman also has a very unsettling score that some how manages to stay in your head every time you watch this film. In my opinion, the music is just as unsettling as Tony Todd. Even as I write this post I keep looking up at my bedroom mirror fearing I am going to see him. If you want to see a film that will chill you to the bone, I recommend this one.

Spoiler Alert: The interior shot of Helen in her coffin is so unsettling. As is the scene when Candyman's hook comes out of her medicine chest and then finds him standing in her hallway. Scares the hell out of me.