Blood Diner (1987)

There is nothing I love more than obscure 80s horror, especially ones that are "bad" because it probably means that there is a killer soundtrack, weird deaths, funny dialogue, and some really cool post punk outfits. Just recently I decided to give Blood Diner a stab since I have never had the chance to see it. It was just, awful. Believe me...I always love a low budget obscure horror...but this was just...awful. 

Based on the cover I assumed it was going to be about a hole in the wall diner out in the middle of nowhere in which the owners probably killed people in the diner and then served them for a lunch special the next day. They should have called this movie Blood What the Hell am I Watching? There is TOO Much Going on, Is this Movie Over Yet, Is This Even a Horror or a Comedy? Because that is exactly what I thought.

The film starts off with 2 brothers as kids (Mikey and Georgie) left at home by their mother, who literally leaves them alone at the house to go to the grocery store to, and I quote, "get some god damn tampons". Shortly after their crazy Uncle Anwar (who even has a name like "Anwar"?) busts through the door with a meat cleaver and tells the boys who are making pretend food his good byes, for moments after police shoot him dead in front of their house since he had been on a killing spree. We fast forward about 10-20 years in time to the 2 brothers as adults. They are digging up their dead uncle for his brain for they want to resurrect him from the dead. They do so, however, their uncle is nothing more than a talking brain and a set of eyes in a jar. After this resurrection the uncle demands that the brothers find the sleaziest women to kill and take their body parts to restore the life of the hell goddess Sheetar. In between all this they also run a diner that serves healthy food...vegetable dishes with human parts mixed in. Okay, now we can call it "Blood Diner". 

This film is sort of like Maniac meets Frankenhooker meets Street Trash. Slasher flicks usually have some comedy elements in slashers which is what makes them so fun to watch, but normally it was still 80% horror and 20% comedy. (I just pulled these numbers out of my ass, but I'd say it's pretty accurate). Slashers in general leave a lot of room for fantasy and creativity. Blood Diner really didn't have a good story. The movie kept going on, and on. There was no balance. It seems to me like they were throwing everything they could at the viewer for the sake of shock value. To be honest, I didn't care about the story, the characters, or overall style. This is coming from the person who will love a movie that has a shitty plot but an amazing atmosphere. I can't believe I am saying this about an 80's horror, but I really hated it and don't plan on ever seeing it again. Surprisingly enough, a lot of people seem to like this movie! I have read a lot of reviews, and I feel like I am working against the grain on this one. I understand why it has it's cult following, but it just wasn't for me. 

However, I will give credit where credit is due. Some scenes worth calling out are the naked aerobics massacre, the vegetarian trucker throwing up all over the diner, and the end ritual zombie scene at the goth bar blasting some Rammstein esque music. By all means, give this one a shot if you love your VHS era films and splatter punk. 

Nightmare on Elm Street II: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

If you read this blog chances are you have probably seen every one of films in the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, and better yet, I can imagine that I can write about each and every single one of the films for days on end. So for this post I wanted to start with an unusual part of the series, "Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge".

The plot revolves around 17 year old Jessie, a socially awkward teen male who's family just moved into Nancy Thompson's house from the first Freddy film. Since moving in, Jessie has been having dreams of our burned face razor glove killer. As the story unfolds, weird supernatural things happen in the house. Jessie finds Nancy's old diary and her writings about her battle with Freddy Krueger, he realizes this nightmare man is now out to get him, and better yet, when he falls asleep he becomes Freddy himself, reeking havoc on teenagers of Springwood, again.

Whats odd about this film is that this is the only one in the series where Freddy is able to possess and come into contact in real life form, which ultimately creates continuity issues for the rest of the series. In the 1980's horror sequels were becoming huge, so of course bringing back Freddy was a no brainer. But why manipulate the concept so early on in the series, why part 2? Shouldn't we wait until at least part 3 like they did with "Halloween III: Season of the Witch", it didn't even have Michael Myers. Thankfully Freddy didn't go away in this film, and he came back looking more creepy than the first. The effects of Freddy Krueger coming out of Jessie's body always impressed me as well. I also need to call out my love of the cover art and it's graphic appeal. I remember seeing a 3 dimensional cut out version of this at my local video rental store, The Video Room, in Union NJ during my childhood.

Another reason why this film stands out in the series is due to the homosexual implications of the movie. Jessie for starters isn't you cockey muscle head, he is whimsy, really close to his "friend", Brady, and dances around his room to pop jams and glitter glasses. Oh, he also screams like a girl and the whole Freddy Kruger trying to come out of him, totally symbolic for keeping his sexuality in the closet.
No, this post isn't a put down on gay people. I am gay dude. So everyone please cool your jets. I also think that in some scenes Freddy and Jessie seemed to have a little sexual tension, especially the encounter they have at the foot the stairs towards the beginning. Can we also talk about the high school gym teacher? I mean, he was caught in a leather daddy bar rocking some sexy leather attire that I would wear, and then later his death scene in the high school shower room. Tied up naked and spanked with a light speed flying towel.

In researching this film, New Line Cinema doesn't deny the homosexual references that are prevalent in the film, they do however deny that it was intentional. Hard to believe, but, okay. What is great about cinema, art, and story telling is that the meaning can always vary based on the observer. I like to see this film both as an addition to the Freddy Krueger films,  but also a call out to homosexuality in the 80s.